Working Yourself out of a job!

When my children were still quite young, a trusted friend reflected to me, "The goal of every good parent is to work themselves out of a job."  Now that my first child has started college, I find myself contemplating her remark and trying to assess how successful I have been.

 My son can do his own laundry, but how often will he?  He is aware of what good nutrition is, but will he occasionally eat a vegetable?  He knows the value of a good nights sleep, but will he go to bed when he is tired and there is still plenty of activity going on?These are simple tasks, ones he has independently monitored for the last several years. I think he will do fine.

Now for the more important questions, the ones that determine character and impact his future:  Will he continue to practice integrity now that his dad and I are not there to hold him accountable?  Will he pursue excellence, even though we are no longer there to daily observe his effort?  Will he develop his faith, even when his peers choose to go another path?  These questions may not be definitevely answered for many more years, but as I think about them I feel more pride than concern.

A new adventure?

Andrew's College

Dropping one's child off at college is a very confusing event.  For the past twelve years, I have volunteered as a mentor for 11th and 12th grade girls.  I have had multiple conversations with girls about selecting colleges and leaving home.  I have also counseled many bewildered and grieving parents.  These experiences have left me quite familiar with how this transitional event impacts people.  However, I have just discovered that my interactions with other parents and their teens have not fully prepared me for personally participating in this common life occurance.  On August 23, I helped my son move into a dorm, his new home. I then said good bye and prepared to drive the ten hour trip back to my slightly emptier but much quieter home.  I was not exactly caught off guard, this day had been coming for 18 years. I was however not accurately anticipating how quickly the day would arrive and just how many emotions I would feel in response to that day.